DATELINE: Cincinnati, OH March 12, 2019 A caravan of migrant squirrels from Mexico (or possibly, Pittsburgh) has amassed outside of our privacy fence. They are seeking both asylum and orange peels. The crisis began to unfold on January 20th when, for my birthday, my left-leaning Kate gave me three bird feeders, a one-thousand-pound bag of […]
“The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.” Vladimir Nabokov I am writing this on the morning of my 61st birthday. As I have done for nearly two decades, I began my day with 30 […]
Today is Orthodox Christmas. And yes, you may wish me a Merry Christmas. Also, feel free to send gifts. Cash or athletic socks are the traditional Orthodox Christmas gifts. I was raised in the Christian Orthodox faith. My mother was Ukrainian Orthodox and my father Russian Orthodox. Essentially the same religion, except for the fact […]
Inspired by America’s domination in Olympic swimming, I imagine thousands of Americans are now flocking to department stores to buy the latest in ultra-tiny, ultra-skimpy Speedo swimwear. Sales of Speedos spike following both the 2008 and 2012 games. This year, roughly 9 out of 10 gold medal swimmers wore Speedos. The lone holdouts wore either […]
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” Marianne Williamson I was stuck. It was that kind of stuck common to many wanna-be entrepreneurs. You think you’re moving in the right direction, but […]
A few weeks ago, proud papa, President Barrack Obama, announced his daughter Malia had been accepted by Harvard (Like many families in a similar situation, I’d guess the Obamas sat on pins and needles waiting for
There’s a lot of debate about whether or not we are “born to lead.” I believe people are born with certain qualities that make them better leaders, such as empathy, compassion and superior communication skills.
Humans, with the exception of the Kardashians, will be extinct in as few as 100 years because the planet will be uninhabitable, according to a joint study released by the world’s leading bio-diversity experts, in
I’ve not traveled much, but I’d bet there’s no place on this rock as breathtaking as the view from twelve tee at Augusta, leading the Masters on Sunday afternoon. You feel heroic, goddamn mythical, as if the
